Well I was right.
STS.
Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Totally deserved but as I predicted I was still gutted about it. In the back of my mind I thought I may have just saved it over the weekend and edged a 0.5lb loss. But hey ho, I know its deserved so I cant really moan.
This week, I have decided to do something drastic. But I'm not going to tell anyone what it is until after next weigh in. Mostly because I know I would be told off (by who?). I know its probably wrong but its only for a week to kick start my losses which have been pitiful of late.
I have lost 18.5lb so far. My trousers are loose, and I am told by my husband theres less of me to hug (haha). But I'm not really feeling it. Whenever I happen to think about what I weigh, I always picture my starting weight. I imagine most people trying to lose weight feel like this, especially people who have been overweight for a long long time. Like myself.
So heres to a new week. Lets keep everything crossed for a decent loss to kickstart my loss, as at the moment it feels like I'm wading through mud.
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Friday, 10 February 2012
Losing my Way
Last weigh in I lost 1.5lbs... WOOHOO!! I was soo happy to stand on the scales and see the reward for the week.
I would say it was less deserved than it would have been the previous two weeks as well because I know I didnt do as well eating wise. My weekly food included a chinese takeaway whilst visiting my mum, a slice of victoria sponge, a chocolate bar and various other bits and bobs of chocolate.
I felt bad whilst I was eating it, all of it, but I just couldnt resist. I think because I had 2 weeks of being good and no result, that in my mind I though well I may as well just eat a bit of what I fancy. And funnily enough, I lost.
This week, has sort of gone in the same direction if I'm being completely honest. I've kind of lost my way a little.
It started on Tuesday when a workmate brought in some cakes as it was his birthday. I had one and didnt even think twice. I've also had a cupcake, a cream egg, around 8 truffles, a cheese and bean pasty and a chicken and cheese white baguette. Its pretty much the worst week I've had since I started SW.
I am mad with myself as I KNEW this was likely to happen after having 2 STS weeks-I even wrote about it, and yet I just let it happen like I had no control over what I put in my mouth.
This all happened within about 3 days this week, and I have pulled it back the remaining days so I should be proud of myself for not letting the entire week slip.... but... it should never have slipped in the first place. And the best I can hope for is surely a maintain.
I will be disappointed with this, even though I know its deserved. Its another week wasted in my eyes. But its all my own fault and I brough it on myself.
I make it so hard on myself. Its hard enough as it is losing weight but I add to my own downfall and sabotage my success.
I'm sure a psychiatrist could give me a good reason why I (and many others) do this to themselves, and no doubt it has something to do with something that happened in my childhood (nothing I'm instantly aware of I may add).
So tonight is weigh in night, and I'm going not expecting anything positive. Its really not the attitude to have is it, I must snap out of this for next week and have a really positive week if I can.
Wish me luck.
I would say it was less deserved than it would have been the previous two weeks as well because I know I didnt do as well eating wise. My weekly food included a chinese takeaway whilst visiting my mum, a slice of victoria sponge, a chocolate bar and various other bits and bobs of chocolate.
I felt bad whilst I was eating it, all of it, but I just couldnt resist. I think because I had 2 weeks of being good and no result, that in my mind I though well I may as well just eat a bit of what I fancy. And funnily enough, I lost.
This week, has sort of gone in the same direction if I'm being completely honest. I've kind of lost my way a little.
It started on Tuesday when a workmate brought in some cakes as it was his birthday. I had one and didnt even think twice. I've also had a cupcake, a cream egg, around 8 truffles, a cheese and bean pasty and a chicken and cheese white baguette. Its pretty much the worst week I've had since I started SW.
I am mad with myself as I KNEW this was likely to happen after having 2 STS weeks-I even wrote about it, and yet I just let it happen like I had no control over what I put in my mouth.
This all happened within about 3 days this week, and I have pulled it back the remaining days so I should be proud of myself for not letting the entire week slip.... but... it should never have slipped in the first place. And the best I can hope for is surely a maintain.
I will be disappointed with this, even though I know its deserved. Its another week wasted in my eyes. But its all my own fault and I brough it on myself.
I make it so hard on myself. Its hard enough as it is losing weight but I add to my own downfall and sabotage my success.
I'm sure a psychiatrist could give me a good reason why I (and many others) do this to themselves, and no doubt it has something to do with something that happened in my childhood (nothing I'm instantly aware of I may add).
So tonight is weigh in night, and I'm going not expecting anything positive. Its really not the attitude to have is it, I must snap out of this for next week and have a really positive week if I can.
Wish me luck.
Friday, 3 February 2012
Ready to Post
Ok, so.
For the second week running I got a STS on the SW scales. To say I was gutted is a complete understatement. Especially after the previous weeks results.
I really made a conscious effort to stick to the plan, to exercise and drink lots of water to help compensate for the exercise. And it’s made zero difference.I just cant believe a week like I had just had could produce a result the same as over christmas! (I think I mentioned that in a previous post, but I'm just so incredulous about it!!)
I rushed out of the meeting, and tears started to well. Then I realised I had left my book on the table in the class room and had to quickly pull myself together and go back and get the book. Then as soon as I left the tears started and this time didn’t stop for a good while.
I know it sounds dramatic, but this really is a big thing for me at the moment. Especially as really I need to lose weight in order to up my chances of conceiving.
I drove myself home, and was consoled by my wonderful husband for 10 minutes until the tears dried up. He is such a love. Telling me to keep going and I'm doing so well not to let 2 weeks spoil what I had achieved so far. He's right. But I will admit here my motivation and willpower are slowly eroding with every bad result. My head's telling me to give up but my heart knows its right to keep going.I really want to do well.
I have never been so motivated before, and I don’t want to give up like I would have in the past. I don’t want to slip into old habits and end up putting the weight back on and more. I’m fighting my old instincts at the moment and its hard work.
I know it works, as I’ve lost 17lb already, I’m just at a complete loss as to why it hasn’t worked in the last 2 weeks. I really genuinely am.
On another note, after timing everything to perfection I got a BFN in January (big fat negative). I was really so sure this would be the month for me and hubby... but its not to be.
Now we are going into our 6th month of TTC, and the longer it goes on the more I start to worry that something is wrong.
All in all we’re 2 healthy people (bar the couple of stone I need to lose), we eat healthily and both exercise. I’m taking supplements, have stopped drinking and nearly totally cut out caffeine. I don’t know that I could be doing much more to help so it is getting worrying.
Anyway I’m repeating myself here, I’ve said all of this already and I don’t want to keep going over it so the next time I post will (fingers crossed) be when I have some good news to tell.
For the second week running I got a STS on the SW scales. To say I was gutted is a complete understatement. Especially after the previous weeks results.
I really made a conscious effort to stick to the plan, to exercise and drink lots of water to help compensate for the exercise. And it’s made zero difference.I just cant believe a week like I had just had could produce a result the same as over christmas! (I think I mentioned that in a previous post, but I'm just so incredulous about it!!)
I rushed out of the meeting, and tears started to well. Then I realised I had left my book on the table in the class room and had to quickly pull myself together and go back and get the book. Then as soon as I left the tears started and this time didn’t stop for a good while.
I know it sounds dramatic, but this really is a big thing for me at the moment. Especially as really I need to lose weight in order to up my chances of conceiving.
I drove myself home, and was consoled by my wonderful husband for 10 minutes until the tears dried up. He is such a love. Telling me to keep going and I'm doing so well not to let 2 weeks spoil what I had achieved so far. He's right. But I will admit here my motivation and willpower are slowly eroding with every bad result. My head's telling me to give up but my heart knows its right to keep going.I really want to do well.
I have never been so motivated before, and I don’t want to give up like I would have in the past. I don’t want to slip into old habits and end up putting the weight back on and more. I’m fighting my old instincts at the moment and its hard work.
I know it works, as I’ve lost 17lb already, I’m just at a complete loss as to why it hasn’t worked in the last 2 weeks. I really genuinely am.
On another note, after timing everything to perfection I got a BFN in January (big fat negative). I was really so sure this would be the month for me and hubby... but its not to be.
Now we are going into our 6th month of TTC, and the longer it goes on the more I start to worry that something is wrong.
All in all we’re 2 healthy people (bar the couple of stone I need to lose), we eat healthily and both exercise. I’m taking supplements, have stopped drinking and nearly totally cut out caffeine. I don’t know that I could be doing much more to help so it is getting worrying.
Anyway I’m repeating myself here, I’ve said all of this already and I don’t want to keep going over it so the next time I post will (fingers crossed) be when I have some good news to tell.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
STS... again...
Its been a tough couple of days.
Over the weekend, I did a pregnancy test, and it came back negative. I really thought this month was the one. We got the timings spot on, I've been taking vitamins etc, given up coffee, eating a healthy diet due to SW... but obviously this just wasnt my month.
Weigh in was on Monday and I stayed the same again. I geuniely have no idea why and I really havent got the attitude or inclination right now to write about it. Maybe I will later in the week.
Over the weekend, I did a pregnancy test, and it came back negative. I really thought this month was the one. We got the timings spot on, I've been taking vitamins etc, given up coffee, eating a healthy diet due to SW... but obviously this just wasnt my month.
Weigh in was on Monday and I stayed the same again. I geuniely have no idea why and I really havent got the attitude or inclination right now to write about it. Maybe I will later in the week.
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