Losing my Way

Last weigh in I lost 1.5lbs... WOOHOO!! I was soo happy to stand on the scales and see the reward for the week.
I would say it was less deserved than it would have been the previous two weeks as well because I know I didnt do as well eating wise. My weekly food included a chinese takeaway whilst visiting my mum, a slice of victoria sponge, a chocolate bar and various other bits and bobs of chocolate.
I felt bad whilst I was eating it, all of it, but I just couldnt resist. I think because I had 2 weeks of being good and no result, that in my mind I though well I may as well just eat a bit of what I fancy. And funnily enough, I lost.

This week, has sort of gone in the same direction if I'm being completely honest. I've kind of lost my way a little.
It started on Tuesday when a workmate brought in some cakes as it was his birthday. I had one and didnt even think twice. I've also had a cupcake, a cream egg, around 8 truffles, a cheese and bean pasty and a chicken and cheese white baguette. Its pretty much the worst week I've had since I started SW.
I am mad with myself as I KNEW this was likely to happen after having 2 STS weeks-I even wrote about it, and yet I just let it happen like I had no control over what I put in my mouth.
This all happened within about 3 days this week, and I have pulled it back the remaining days so I should be proud of myself for not letting the entire week slip.... but... it should never have slipped in the first place. And the best I can hope for is surely a maintain.
I will be disappointed with this, even though I know its deserved. Its another week wasted in my eyes. But its all my own fault and I brough it on myself.

I make it so hard on myself. Its hard enough as it is losing weight but I add to my own downfall and sabotage my success.
I'm sure a psychiatrist could give me a good reason why I (and many others) do this to themselves, and no doubt it has something to do with something that happened in my childhood (nothing I'm instantly aware of I may add).

So tonight is weigh in night, and I'm going not expecting anything positive. Its really not the attitude to have is it, I must snap out of this for next week and have a really positive week if I can.

Wish me luck.