I'll start on Monday

The start of a new week... full of good intentions and enthusiasm.
Slim fast for breakfast, lots of cups of tea and glasses of water. Slim fast for lunch and more cups of tea and water and then gym after work. Thats the plan anyway. I already think I'm going to fail... how can I ever succeed when even before I start I think I will fail. I REALLY want to do it, I do. But it hasnt happened for me so many times. Ok this is getting a bit negative now.

I have said this before, but I spend so much time thinking about losing weight, what I'm eating, beating myself up for eating something I shouldnt have, sooo much time its ridiculous. It would be so amazing to pick whatever I want off the resturant menu and not think ooh should I really be eating that, is there a better option. Just to pick something I actually want. Guilt. My everyday life is full of it. Guilt, all day long. Its an excuse I know, but being on the large side is common in my family. My grandma, mum, sister have all been big (my sister is really good at losing weight though and is quite slim at the moment), as well as other family members. I dont want to be like that though, and I certainly dont want my kids to be like that. I suppose when I get slim, I will have to work really hard at it for the rest of my life. I can handle that, if it meant I was slim. I'd do anything.