Plodding Along

God I am useless at keeping up with this blog.
I will write a post and promise myself I will write again tomorrow... next thing I know 3 months have passed. Ok but I'm here now, right!

I'm still on the slim fast but the weight loss has slowed down dramatically, since I last posted I have lost another 11lbs. Which when you think its been 3 months is actually pretty poor. I think my body is 'plateuing' (no idea if thats the right spelling but you get my drift) i.e. its getting used to only having liquid for breakfast and lunch, and therefore it isnt having as much of an effect. If this is the case, aside from starving myself, I have no idea what else to do! I have been going to the gym 2-3 times a week to so I am just at a bit of a loss right now.
It totally makes me feel like well why the hell am I even trying if I go to all this hassle to lose a few measly pounds every few weeks.

I've started taking appetite suppresants as well.... yes I know I know diet pills are bad for you etc, but these arent strictly diet pills, they're appetite suppresants. You dont take them instead of food, just once in the morning and once in the afternoon in between meals. And it seems to be working.... When I used to get home I would be ravenous, but just lately I havent been as hungry and my stomach hasnt been growling as much. This may well be psychological, but even if it is its still working! Hey you know you love my logic :) So i'll keep taking em and see what happens.

I wonder if when I get slim, I can get used to it. I mean I have been overweight for so long now, I just cant imagine ever being slim and happy with my body. I often wonder what it must feel like to look in the mirror and be happy with what you see! To try on clothes and know they look good, rather then they just cover up the lumps and bumps. To go into a shop and know they will have your size. To eat a chocolate bar or chips in the street and not be self conscious people are looking at you thinking 'fat pig no wonder she's overweight'.
I was once eating quality street's as I was walking for the bus, had about 5 in my pocket and was just happily munching away. I went to cross a road and a car drove past, the passenger stuck their head out of the window and shouted 'FAT BITCH!'. I was about 15 at the time. I was so mortified I could have cried right there and then. But I didnt, I saved it for when I got home. I put the rest of the sweets in the nearest bin. People are so cruel arent they.

Life is just one long diet isnt it. Well it is in my life.