Will I ever get slim if my brain won't let me?

Willpower, its all in the mind.
Grrr and I have precisely none of this, NONE! Its pathetic.
I am struggling with my own mind the last few days. This morning I had some hunger pangs and straightaway thought 'oh I'm going to get something nice off the food van (that visits my work in the morning) sod it I'm hungry'. For gods sake I'm ON A DIET!! When will my brain realise this. I cant just go to the van and get crisps and chocolate because I'm hungry and I feel like it, this is not really allowed when you're on a diet, its kind of the whole point. But its like because I'm hungry my brain makes it ok. Occasions like this make me wonder if I need some kind of therapy or treatment for my food habits. Am I ever going to get slim if my brain wont let me?!
Its a real battle somedays. I literally swing from wanting to eat everything and saying sod it I'm just going to do it, to 20 minutes later resolving to stick to my diet religiously and feeling guilty because I even dared to think I would slip up. Gods sake, its mental turmoil this dieting business.

On another note completely, I hate photos being taken without my knowledge. Why's that I hear you ask... well, because I havent been able to lift my head up a bit (to make the double chin disppear), or give the camera my best angle (this ones a struggle), or fluff my hair, or check my makeup. The list goes on. I've been caught unawares. This little note stems from a picture that was in a company newsletter without my realising I was even being photographed. I look FAT! My cheeks look like a hamster storing nuts, I have a double chin going on and I'm pulling a ridiculous face that only enhances all of these bad points. Urgh, is this what I look like to everyone else? Somestimes I look in the mirror and what I see aint all that bad. Sometimes I may even dare to say I look pretty. But when I see photos like this, me as I am not posing not primping, I wonder if I'm in denial. I know not everyone looks perfect on every photo, but I hate to think people will see this thinking this is what I always look like.

Ok, so hunger pangs have passed, I'm drinking a cup of tea (with sweetener not sugar). I can do this. One day at a time.