Willpower... whats that?

I guess you could call yesterday a write off. How pathetic. Like 10 minutes after I wrote my first post I took a chocolate that was offered to me. Just one chocolate I thought what harm can it do. Well a lot actually, I felt like crap as soon as I had eaten it and immediately felt like a failure. Because I am a failure.

I am thinking today I am going to try and eat as little as possible and do some exercise when I get home. Only problem is I am meeting a friend for tea, and we are a bad influence on eachother. Ok well I will eat as little as possible until I meet her, and really really try to pick something good off the menu. I can do it, for goodness sake its just a decision, a case of yes or no, this or that, am I so weak and pathetic I cant even do that. Well im overweight so yes is the answer to that question.

Today up to now I have had a bowl of cereal and two cups of tea with a sweetener in. I am going to try and drink lots of water to fill me up. Lunch is soup and a banana and hopefully nothing else until I meet up with my friend.
I am going to try and post my daily food diary up here somehow, without having to have it as a post, if I can figure out how to do it.

I have wasted so much of my adult life being overweight, my weight has fluctuated from 11 1/2 stone to 14 stone, so I have never really been at an ideal weight, or a weight I felt happy with. I feel sick and disappointed in myself when I think of the amount of times I have started a diet and not stuck with it, I could have been skinny for years now if I had stuck to just ONE diet. Its pathetic it really is. I will be in my 30's before I know it, having wasted all of my 20s being overweight and unhappy about it.

I may post later, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders when I unload on here, already it feels like that. Its almost like talking to a councillor, getting all the thoughts out of my head and written down. Maybe, whenever I feel like eating something I shouldnt, I will post on here to stop myself, reason with mself that I shouldnt do it. God I will be posting like 30 times a day at least if I do that!