Pity Party

Oh god. I'm not feeling on top of the world today.
I wish I was feeling more up beat and positive. But I'm not.

Ok lets start with a positive... I lost 1.5lb on Monday yay! That takes me to 21.5lb off altogether and its pretty much the best I have ever done on a weight loss plan. I am so so happy I started sw and have kept going with it. I would like to try and get to 2 stone off by my birthday but I know whenever I set targets I tend to go astray. So I'll just keep plodding and see where I get.
This week, I started calorie counting. Now I know I know, this is not part of the sw plan. But I thought I'd give it a go seen as my losses havent been great for a few weeks now. Its interesting to see how the calories add up.

Ok.. you've had the good news, here's the bad news. I'm not pregnant. Still. The witch showed her face this morining in all her glory.
Oh I had totally convinced myself this was the month. I had numerous 'symptoms', and the twinges and cramps etc, but alas it was not to be. I'm not going to go over my worries again, I've explained them numerous times now and its getting boring keep going over them in my own head never mind writing them down.
God I'm feeling so sorry for myself. Period pains and cramps are soo painful this month. I'm on the verge of tears because of this but also because I'm upset I didnt catch this month. I really do not want to be at work right now. Will someone please rescue me from this pity party...

All I want right now is to be a mum. I literally cannot think of anything else. I know putting all this pressure on myself probably isnt helping. But I feel like I'm under pressure timewise. I dont want to be an old mum.

Oh christ, just had a breakdown in the office. A colleague just asked if I was ok and I burst out crying. Went out of the office to calm down. Bless my colleague she really looked after me. Got me a drink and some paracetomol and told me to take 15 minutes out. Then came through with biscuits and 'softer tissues' bless her heart. Actually I feel a lot better now. Even though I've made a right show of myself.
Pull yourself together now girl. People have been through a lot worse.